Owoade Writes

Memoirs of a Woman Going Without

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Two days ago, I picked up my black book of “To Do Goals “and thumbed through the pages. I do this often, to make sure am on not losing sight of my “well thought through”goals and how I intend bringing them to actualization.
The year 2016 was really a defining year for me. And one of the life lessons I learnt was that while I am good at “acquiring” and “reserving” money. Have not mastered the skills to turn what have reserved into a long term steady source of income. I invested in stocks a few years back but nothing major that can afford me to retire 5 years from now.
Am from a society where success is measured financially and that is by how much you spend on choice cars, houses, designer bags, shoes and luxury holidays. Like Arese Ugwu said “In Africa, success is measured by our spending patterns”.
While have not been brought up to be vain or rely on designer items to define me. I do confess to guilty pleasures and indulging a little bit. My argument was so far have worked hard enough, I should also splurge.
But what I realized last year after having a seat down with myself was – my aspirations seemed fine. But a closer look at them, I discovered they majorly pointed to addressing money, money and self. I didn’t like it!
I started to look inwards, asking myself what makes me happy? What passion brings tears to my eyes? If I could identify these, there my fulfillment will definitely be. I felt lighter, it was like a load was lifted off me and for once in a very long time, I knew where to start and what to look for.
Now in 2017, have made a mental shift from aspiring towards financial success, (which have culturally been brain wired to think is the ultimate goal) to aspiring to success in other areas of my life.
I believe if am able to translate success into say learning an art, a new language, exploring a new culture, creating something, career advancement, volunteering for a cause, spiritual growth etc.
It will give me a sense of overall achievement hence more fulfillment more than just acquiring money which seats down doing nothing in my bank account and then seeps away gradually to material needs.
Besides they say a success which is not a blessing to the world is no success at all. So am looking more into giving out rather than receiving.
I remember after finalizing my goals, I felt like I was setting myself up to be a super woman or to seem boastful which I really am not. So honestly I won’t beat myself if some things don’t work out as planned. Some goals however, have put in a non-negotiable category like my spiritual growth.
As a Christian my first goal is to have a relationship with God this year by spending time to read my bible, pray, meditate on the word and work on a spiritual discipline (I chose fasting).
And have started to see some of my goals actualize , some will take years from now, some seem so ridiculous to me now and am wondering what are they even doing on the list?. Like a bag that I will buy in 2018.
But in all, am glad to finally be in the right place and knowing that am getting it right as an individual who knows her strengths, flaws, limitations and abilities. I can judge myself, learn lessons and move on.
Sometimes I can’t help but say to myself if I had viewed my life goals from this perspective ten years ago, I would have gone really far, but I rest in the knowledge that God’s time is the best.
And as June comes to an end signaling the end of the first half of 2017 and me marking a new age. Without fear I look forward to opening my black book again. And thankfully be happy for what have achieved so far, the progress made and those goals that may never happen. And if it needs me to re plan my route, so shall i. But am not losing sight of my goal.
So dear one, what are you looking to achieve in 2017?
Perhaps your 2017 looks chaotic with no direction. Start simple!
Pick something not complicated that you can work towards. It’s not too late to set or reset goals for this year.
While we all have different goals and belong to different school of thoughts, let me encourage you to set goals that will be beneficial to your world.
A goal that will uplift you and others. No one knows you better than yourself. Discover yourself, know who you are and why you are here.
Be purposeful in your actions this year, run your own race! Don’t leave your life to chance.
And the only way you can do this is to have specific goals that will help you attain your divine purpose here.
Be your own goal setter in 2017.