Owoade Writes

Memoirs of a Woman Going Without

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Let’s talk about abusive relationships

As she got off the call with Shade, she knew she would have to face that ugly evening looming ahead.

She envisioned the screaming, bitter words of truth hitting her like blows.

She knew she would make promises to call it quits, her friends will hug her and everything will be fine, until it happens again!!

You see Onome paints the typical picture of a Lagos big girl, (allow me use that term).

She’s beautiful, has fabulous friends, lives in a three bedroom detached duplex on the banana island.

She’s the team lead of a customer service department in one of the branches of a reputable bank in Lagos, Nigeria.

And did I mention, she’s 31 and SINGLE, UNMARRIED!!

Onome has been dating this guy called Andy for 18 months now.

He cuts the picture of a Lagos big boy also. Andy is very handsome, a professional in the oil and gas industry, he’s warm on the outside, wears a very charming smile.

But put Andy within the four walls of a room, and what do we have? A short tempered woman beater!!

Seven months into their relationship, Onome and Andy had an argument over, a male colleague of hers, who was getting too friendly with her.

They both were agitated, while trying to clear the air, a hot slap landed across Onome’s cheek.

He cried, begged for forgiveness, blamed it on the devil and accumulated stress at work.

From then till now he’s beaten her 15 times, each time it got worse than the previous.

Onome keeps forgiving him, hoping one day it will be the last beating she will receive.

And the fear of losing this great catch made Onome stick to this man till now.

Her thoughts are, “at least I have someone to call mine, one with whom I may spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to be alone”.

If Onome listens to her friends tonight, she will walk out of this abusive relationship, and then her friends would have saved a life.

If Onome doesn’t heed her friends’ advice tonight, she will marry Andy in six months.

She will get pregnant during her honeymoon in Maldives.

In the last trimester of her wedding, she will ask Andy why he got home late as usual, he would descend on her and beat her to a pulp.

She will be rushed to the emergency room, the medical team will fight for her life and the baby’s.

After two hours, Onome will give up the fight.

The doctor will pronounce her dead.

We saved a sister!! Or we lost a sister!!

Am leaving you reader, to choose either of these endings.

Perhaps you are Onome, or you know one Onome.

Please tell her true love is gentle, it may argue, but never inflicts emotional or physical pain.

Please tell her that though, she be alone now, she will find that true love and she doesn’t have to put up with an abusive relationship.

Please tell her if she dies, she will be greatly missed and will leave a dent in our hearts forever!

There is a girl somewhere, in an abusive relationship, you can help.

Together let’s say NO to abusive relationships.

Let us be our Sister’s keeper.

How willing are you to help?